Roast Beast’s Thermonuclear Challenge

Thermonuclear Challenge Roast Beast Sandwich, like a boss

This is for lovers of Roast Beef sandwiches and chili heads, worldwide. From the moment I laid eyes on the Thermonuclear Challenge, every breeze that swayed the blades of green grass carried its name and every unconscious crevice of my dreams was filled with its being. It was a foregone conclusion, just as when two immovable objects on a galatic collision course eventually met their mutual demolition, that I would finally meet the heavyweight Thermonuclear Challenge headstrong. It was on, like Donkey Kong!

The Thermonuclear Challenge is a Man v Food worthy activity and the brain child of Roast Beast, located right outside of Boston in Allston/Brighton. Roast Beast is one of these rare jewels. It is the perfect sandwich shop, specializing in one item and doing it beyond awesome – roast beef sandwiches.

Roast Beast outside from BU Today

It offers you an assortment of ways to customize your roast beef sandwiches with a plethora of available sauces (don’t be afraid to mix and match) and cheeses. These sauces keep the meat extra moist and studded with additional flavor. Not only are the sauces a requirement for texture, but soak in so beautifully into the Roast Beast’s onion rolls. Because of this, Roast Beast has become one of our go-to spots for lunch. Yet, what captivated me most about Roast Beast was its Wall of Beasts and its Thermonuclear Challenge.

Roast Beast Thermonuclear Challenge Stakes

I’m a believer that all of us either like to partake in food eating challenges (ie eating hottest wings in a town or a 2 lb burger in 30 mintes) or watch friends/randoms take the plunge and give one a go. There’s nothing more satisfying than victory or watching someone else fail miserably to stomach super spicy foods or enormous quantity. Unabashed fun and laughter time.

Roast Beast Sandwich from Boston Magazine, looks amazing eh? Do it

The Thermonuclear Challenge is two extra large Roast Beast roast beef sandwiches combined into one big sub. It is over 1 pound of roast beef. One of the sauces that Roast Beast is famous for is its killer Thermonuclear. This is a sauce made with 100% ghost chilis, a demon of peppers used for making chemical weapons and to intoxicate those crazy enough to eat it. On the scale used to measure heat in peppers, ghost chilis make jalapenos look like ice cream bars. This intense sauce, with an initial bit of heat that grows insurmountably in ones mouth over time to an incredible inferno, is lathered all over this 1 pound roast beef sub. The meat is swimming and completely covered in the Thermonuclear sauce.

The Challenge is to eat the entire 1 pound roast beef sub, completely drowned in the Thermonuclear sauce in 5 minutes or less. Of course, you have to sign a legal waiver and the restaurant gives you a pair of gloves so the ghost chilis don’t burn into your finger nail or accidentally touch your eyes.

Have to Sign that Ghost Chili Legal Waiver. There goes the Mortgage

A Challenge for All to Attempt

On paper, this does not seem that bad. But it must be as the Wall of Beasts, those that fulfilled this challenge, is not large. I was frightened yet estactic to give this contest a go. And upon victory, it was one of the proudest moments of my life. 1 pound of roast beast does not sound like a lot of meat, but to chew it and keep throwing it down so to complete the sandwich in less than 5 minutes caused my jaw to tire expeditiously. The sandwich is fairly thick and makes it tough to continue chomping away at it. I almost had to tap out because for me, it was almost too much meat in too little of a timeframe.

And while I’m a guy that can take some heat, the Thermonuclear sauce made itself very, very clear after 2 minutes in. My forehead was dripping beads of sweat as if I was in the steam room for an hour and my shirt felt like I just jumped out of a pool. I was drenched. And my mouth began to fire up into a blaze. It is recommended to stand during this entire contest, because sitting can cause one’s stomach to knot up from all the meat and the intense sauce. There were definitely instances where I got lightheaded or felt like I was on the verge of hallucination (which I like) thanks to the overload of ghost chilis into my system.

But success never tasted so good and hurt so bad. I completed the challenge in 4 minutes and am now forever remembered in the Wall of Beasts. A free t-shirt was also lovely (and a chick magnet). But thank goodness for the two helpings of Klondike bars afterward to help numb the lingering pain of the Thermonuclear sauce. All said, I would definitely do this again in order to improve my time and would highly recommend it for anyone that wants to have a fun afternoon.

Keep Beasting and Winning!

The Final Winning pose. A great success, finished Thermonuclear Challenge


1 comment… add one
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